I am always doing some form of the Weight Watchers program. I love the program and every time I commit, I am always successful. But therein lies the challenge…my ability to commit and then STAY committed. I go through amazing periods of success, losing 10, 20, 30…even 40 pounds and I feel so good! Then, life comes along and partners up with my sweet tooth and all hell breaks loose.
I am currently doing what I lovingly call “Wait Watchers”. This is where I pay my monthly Weight Watchers fee while watching my weight slowly creep up as I continue to overeat and wait for the moment I am ready to recommit to the program. It’s a frustrating cycle that I am trying to break, but I am not there yet. My current “Groundhog Day” routine goes a little something like this….
Morning:
- Wake up – proceed to feel guilty for what I ate the night before, but motivated to start fresh today! I HAVE GOT THIS!!
- Exercise – start the day with some weights and cardio. FEELING SO GOOD!
- Eat a healthy breakfast – feeling satisfied and very proud of myself. GREAT START!
Mid-Day:
- Lunch Time – Eat a healthy meal, usually a turkey salad or wrap. Halfway through the day and DOING AWESOME!
Mid-Afternoon
- Getting a little hungry and tired – grab a little snack of some pistachios or some fruit. STILL ON TRACK GIRL!
Evening
- Dinner Time – Decisions, Decisions….I can’t decide what healthy meal I should have, so I chow down on some jalapeno Cheetos while I think about it. Here is an example of my thought process, “Cheetos are delicious, I love cheese, maybe I will make some eggs with cheese. Bacon also goes good with eggs and cheese and that’s fairly healthy……I’m tired…I love cheese so much….pizza it is”
Evening Part 2:
- I mean I already blew it at dinner, so what does it matter if I bake a ridiculously large chocolate chip cookie stuffed with an oreo? I deserve it after the long day I had anyways, right?
- Feel slightly sick as I head to bed after ingesting a ridiculous amount of sugar late at night
And…..REPEAT
Can anybody relate to this? This is such a bad cycle and I am having a really hard time breaking it right now, I literally feel trapped by my own bad decisions, over and over again. I know I am the only one who can make the change, but I secretly wish someone would just kidnap me and take me to an adult fat camp for a couple of weeks. Do those even exist? I need to google that… I feel like I need to escape somewhere, away from everyday life and reset my brain! Hint, hint for anyone looking for a bday gift for me, fat camp!…. I don’t really need to lose a ton of weight, it’s more about being in control and feeling confident and energized. I don’t like to feel out of control with my eating and that’s how I feel right now. I am using food as a reward for the good days, the bad days, the sad days, the glad days…you see where I am going with this.
And to be honest, it’s embarrassing. I consider myself a strong, smart, confident woman. But, when I am stuck in one of these ruts where I sabotage my healthy eating day after day after day….it starts to impact me ins so many negative ways. Don’t get me wrong, I still love myself and think I am pretty awesome…gaining a few pounds won’t change that, so don’t worry. But I do notice that I don’t have as much confidence during these ruts and I know I really deserve to treat myself better.
Ok, as I am writing this I am literally thinking about going to get a donut, it’s like my brain is a double agent working for Krispy Kreme! What is happening??
I have to decide what I want more. Do I want to eat whatever I want and be unhappy with myself OR follow the WW program, eat healthy, have more energy, feel proud of myself, feel confident, etc., etc.? It certainly seems like a no-brainer doesn’t it?
So listen up self, we are going back to Weight Watchers this week and we are going to commit to make better decisions. We are going to attend a WW meeting and feel the positivity and encouragement. We are going to focus on the long term goals and not the moment to moment cravings. We are going to be successful……and YES, this means we are not going to get a donut right now, and don’t ask me again!
XOXO,
Your BESTie Beth
I can completely relate to this! I do so well all day until like 4 pm and if there’s anything sweet in the house I will attack it. Which is exactly what I did yesterday. I just try not to keep anything sweet in the house because my self control is not there haha. Thanks for your honesty in this post, love you!!!
Nikki- YES! 4 pm is about the time I lose all control. That is a great idea to not keep sweets in the house, that would certainly help me! I just don’t know if I can throw all the goodies in my way house, but if I don’t they will most likely end up in my belly 😊 love you too!
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